The art of procrastination

Wikipedia defines procrastination as: “the act of replacing high-priority actions with tasks of lower priority, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment and thus putting off important tasks to a later time”

What Wikipedia fails to mention, is that there is an art to procrastination which only few can master. I for one can officially consider myself the queen of procrastination. My manager once gave me a book to read which was supposed to help me fight this habit “the on- time on-target manager” by Ken Blanchard, it remained on my nightstand and I kept delaying reading it till it became part of the décor.  

Keep in mind that I’ve wanted to post this for the past 8 months. Here are the guidelines to mastering the art of procrastination in a brief list, an intro to procrastination if you want:

• A true procrastinator never starts a task unless there is less than 1 hour to the submission deadline
• A true procrastinator reaches his/her peak of time-wasting creativity when the actual work load is at its maximum
• A true procrastinator knows in the back of his/her head that they should get started with work but their brain simply ignores the command; most importantly, they don’t feel bad about ignoring it
• A true procrastinator is a brilliant excuse-for-not-working generator. They are so good, they believe their own excuses
• A true procrastinator spends so much time online that they are always up to date about all world events
• A true procrastinator shall check social media websites at least twice every 30 minutes and spend a minimum of 5 minutes each time
• A true procrastinator will watch all viral videos posted online
• A true procrastinator will be subscribed to at least 3 websites dedicated to useless internet humor and findings such as 9gag.com; stumbleupon.com and thefancy.com
• A true procrastinator can spend 3 days working on improving a process that was working fine anyway rather than doing what they are supposed to be doing
• A true procrastinator always nags about the load of work they have
• A true procrastinator will always ask for  at least 1 week deadline  from today to complete the task, regardless of how simple the task is
• A true procrastinator loves to-do-lists. They just do
• A true procrastinator will start smoking just because it’s an excuse to waste 5mn each time
• A true procrastinator has a maximum attention span of 15 minutes on a good day

Most importantly, qualities without which one can never be a successful procrastinator:

• A True procrastinator has the capacity to accomplish brilliant work under extreme pressure.  The submitted work shall be completed in record time, seconds before the deadline but will still have all required content, good attention to layout and a twist of genius

I don’t pride myself in being a procrastinator, but I have learned to live with it, ignore the urge to waste time (most days) and set tighter deadlines to force myself to get things done.

You can consider me as addicted to deadlines, and the adrenaline that last minute rush creates. The important thing is to get the work done properly and on time, procrastinating or not, it doesn’t matter anyway.

“There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else”

Back to the basics: Surviving Ramadan

Ramadan in Dubai for the non-fasting community has a major positive side: shorter office hours and less work load. With all this free time on your hands, your mind wonders off to all those things you wanted to do and never had time for. But on the other hand, restaurants are closed until Iftar, no eating, drinking or smoking in public, clubs are closed, rather quiet music is played in bars and most importantly it is at least 40°C outside! Therefore, the options of what to do with all that free time turn out to be very limited.
I don't pride myself, but my friends and I are quite involved in the clubbing scene and one of our favorite hobbies is a good meal at any time during the day. So this month, since we cannot party till the early hours of morning and then sleep till the early hours of the afternoon, our days are seeming long and dull.
So in a month where social activities are limited, we decided to go back to the basics, to a time without clubs, malls and restaurants. We are back to playing the good old board games that used to keep us so busy in our early teenage years.

On day 1, we were not well equipped, thus came an impromptu game of charades. 2 hours wasted laughing at your very manly friend act out the word "ballet skirt", being frustrated by your architect friend not guessing the word "bridge", or scratching your brain out trying to act out the word "mango"

We had a whole month of free afternoons to waste, therefore, we needed to be ready, charades won't cut it.
A quick trip to the toy store and we are back with all time favorites: Monopoly, Risk, Cluedo, Uno and Jenga. Board Games have evolved since I last played them, Monopoly now comes in a new version with credit cards instead of the colored paper money; Risk has lost its triangular army in favor of more accurately looking weapons, Cluedo now takes place on a very fancy villa board and Jenga, well it's still a bunch of wooden blocks.



Getting the games home felt like Christmas morning: opening those boxes and revealing the crispy boards! We haven't played those games for at least 10 years, and a refresher look at the rule book was a must.

It felt good being a whole group of friends, gathered around the table instead of the TV, laughing, talking and playing. Nothing can make a Saturday go by like a 4 hour game of Monopoly. Not only do you enjoy the actual game, but the best part is getting to see your friends in a new light. You find out who is a cheater, a strategic player, a bad looser, a competitive jerk...

It is really nice going back to the basics, those simple games that we grew up playing but so easily forgot when parties and outings started. I for one, am really enjoying a stress-free August and looking forward to so many more home-cooked meals followed by hours of simple fun away from electronic games, TV shows, bbm and social networks.
Does it seem like war time in Lebanon? it does, but when forced to go back to the basics, this is when human bonds grow so much closer. It's Ramadan in Dubai and it doesn't matter anyway! I have plenty to keep myself amused with

Ramadan Kareem and wish me luck so I can hopefully win a game or two :)

No writer's block in this blog - the 7 stages of moving

I've been thinking of starting my own blog for a while now. Being the queen of procrastination, I only got to it 1 whole year after.
I first thought of blogging when I moved to Dubai. I thought I could blog about the days of a stranger in a strange land. The daily routine has its way of getting the best of you.
I have been in Dubai for almost a year now. Let me tell you, this country can suck you in, and it does it so well. When you move to a new country, a new job, a new life, you think "this is my chance to start over, to be the person I always wanted to be". In some way, you do change a few things, but deep down you are still the same, maybe a little better, maybe a little worse; but it is still YOU, same old YOU.
Moving from the family home to your own bachelor pad can be quite exciting, just like the 7 stages of grief, I have summoned the 7 stages of Moving:

1. Excitement: when you first get that opportunity to a new life, the butterflies are more vibrant that those of a first love. You feel like the world is your stage and that you will do all you have ever dreamed of doing: career, independence, saving money, new friends, new hobbies, new lifestyle... You want the perfect house and you go on the Ikea website even before your flight ticket is booked
2. Fear: Once the travel date gets closer, it hits you! (maybe it's also the crying mother). CHANGE.....the UNKNOWN...You will no longer be in your room, the one you've been in all your life. You won't have your car, your belongings, your routine you have grown so accustomed to. You won't visit your favorite restaurant every week and you won't go for a glass of wine on a rooftop after work. You won't have a taste of your mother's cooking for a while and you will miss out on so many coffee gossips and Sunday lunches. You start saying things like "it's the last time I will drive down this road" and friends will throw you farewell parties. You are scared of leaving all you have known, and wonder if what you are heading towards will ever be as good as what you had. You get cold feet and rethink about your decision to move
3. Sadness: you start packing, you tear up when your family and friends start overflowing with affection. You are getting hugs, good lucks, best wishes and be carefuls from everywhere you go. You have a knot in your stomach... you will miss them, you will miss this, you will miss the life you have always known. You cry, but only when no one is watching, you have to be the strong one after all. You have to show them that you are sure of your decision. You cherish every last moment with those people who have been in your life forever. With every goodbye, a small tear works its way up your tear ducts, but you push it down by cracking a silly joke. Oh! and the long hugs...those don't help at all. Your bags are packed, once they are in the car, you realize that this is REAL, you are LEAVING and the waterworks start flowing. As you drag your feet through the airport, you become aware of how heavy your heart and luggage are. The second you step to the check-in counter, the pleas for letting the clerk accept your 10 kg overweight luggage and  the pride of accomplishing that drive the sorrow away. You get on the plane, sleep all the way and wake up to the landing announcement. 
4. Panic: You landed in an unknown land and you have nothing. You make a list of all you have to do: find an apartment, get furniture, get food, subscribe to electricity, water, cable and internet, get a phone number, find your new office, finish your residency papers....What is this street? what did you say the area is called? where am I? PANIC hits. you just want to go back to your mommy and she will tell you that it will all be just fine. Breathe in, breathe out, sort your list, one by one, cross them off... you are done! your apartment, your new life
5. Adaptation: just like a baby learning to walk, you tip-toe around your building, you memorize names and faces, you locate the grocery store and the Subway sandwich shop.... bit by bit, you let your hair down and step out of your bubble, exploring a little further every day. You search your phone book and facebook for any old friends that might be living here and you call them... One day, Sheikh Zayed Road sounds very common and you know exactly where Jumeirah is and which malls are near your area.... One day, your house feels like home, you like your new bed and you have a corner in the couch where you like to sit. You make new friends and you start going out and tasting life in this new world. While walking from your office to your usual parking spot to drive to your apartment taking the usual road, a man stops you and asks you "do you know where building 8 is?" and you know exactly where that is and how to get to it. Congratulations, you have adapted! This new land is now your own. You are no longer a stranger, you are now only an expatriate. 
6. Nostalgia: every now and again, you miss the smell of manou'che (traditional Lebanese pastry), the mountain breeze, clubs that don't close at 3:00 AM and the noise of a house full with family and friends. You even miss Aunt Youmna, your neighbor, who comes up every morning, uninvited, with her coffee to gossip.  You take a short vacation, you go back to  your home country, you enjoy a taste of what your life used to be.... for 3 days.... then you remember how calm and organized Dubai is, how quick the internet is, how nice it is to have electricity 24/7, how safe and how politically boring it is... and there my friend, you have moved to stage 7
7. Acceptance: You land in Dubai airport and you exhale with a big sigh of relief....and you dare to say "I'm home". You have now embraced your new life, your new country, your new routines and you love it. You always get nostalgic, and the cycle of stages 6-7 keeps going, occasionally you even question if you should stay here, but that is a simple thought that passes. Congratulations, you have successfully graduated to "Established Expatriate" like the millions of Lebanese all over the world. Your new best friends are Mariska from Germany, your handyman is Vinoth from India, your housekeeper is Carmel from the Philippines, your last call is Josephine from Australia, your party buddies are Lebanese and your supplier is Ammad from Pakistan, your landlord is Iranian and you just met a bunch of people from New Zealand.... You have moved from a Lebanese fed with religious and politic racism to an accepting, multi-cultural individual

Here is my experience, I can now say that I have been through all stages. Currently I am in stage 6, till my vacation is a couple of weeks, then I will be glad to move back to stage 7
My thoughts are mine, I wanted to share them with you because it doesn't matter anyway!

PS: I promise my next posts won't be this long

Written to the sounds of the most awesome playlist (for now) which you can find on http://8tracks.com/lytebryte25/songs-to-lie-on-your-bed-and-stare-at-the-ceiling-to